Hell hath no fury.

In the dead of the night, I found my sobriety. 

The previous day, my unease was doing a continuous spiral between dull ache and magnificent clarity. However, I was dubious regarding the true nature of an anti-happiness that I was feeling right in the center of my very being. I will not say that I loathed my existence, but I would strongly suggest that I felt without a purpose. Human beings, I suppose were created for a mere fascination of some superior beings. A silly project if I may? But one having serious repercussions. We grow, we breathe, we feel but what do we actually attain? What is the final goal? Who is watching us and what for? Or my question should be, is anyone watching us? As my plethora of questions stacked up, I was left without a single answer. Why do we do, whatever we are doing right now? All I needed was a reason, a solution which had some stupendous essence. The zip line between an end to the other with a short frenzy of sightseeing seems like such a waste of time. If all we are to do is draw our last breath someday, then why breathe at all? 

Growing up, I was taught regarding the difference between heaven and hell. In this stretch that we are in, if we do brilliant deeds our path is paved towards heaven and with our murky endeavors comes the boulevard for hell. Neat, isn’t it? The tiny me was horridly good, sometimes irritably so in order to have my luck at the heavenly doors. Now, I sit and laugh with gusto. However, I would never say it out loud, what you discern that I am thinking. The early preaching has done a fine job of scaring me for life. No sir, I won’t say it out loud. 

Coming back to my unease. Yesterday, I was looking out my window and saw this tyrant of a child, throw a couple of stones with an ungodly speed at some harmless dogs. I could see the devil child smiling as the dogs limped away with pitiful cries. Those cries which made me feel like a scum for not screaming at that 3 feet non-human, inspired glee in him. The thought that jumped to my mind was doesn’t he know about hell. That is when I realized, maybe my teachers haven’t been completely honest with me. 

My humble abode consists of individuals who are not unshakably religious. They pray, they believe in God, they believe that being virtuous is the ultimate perseverance of life and other agreeable things, but they won’t make me walk barefoot on fire and all that. What’s not to like eh? My mother had drilled into my head that if I was good to someone and that someone has been ghastly to me, then someday that same vile soul would come around. The catch was that I had to be nice to that person again and again and again. Damn straight, someone give a Nobel peace prize to my dear mother. My mother’s belief and my terror about being fried with burning oil, led me to many a righteous path. And lord only knows, how I have been tortured. I was made to think that people are generally good until proved otherwise. Nevertheless, I was enlightened later in my life that people are generally rather cruel until you are of some use to them. And this realization came with a thick dose of insight that there is no point if you are a boon to the society or a filthy arse. Ultimately, you are going to bid this world adieu and go cold. After that, there is just silence. 

That day, watching this despicable spawn be his entitled self, made me come to a very serious conclusion. What you ask? 

No sir, I won’t say it out loud.